uhh.

I’m so freaking emotionless. And I hate it.

I have no inspiration, motive, nothing.
Things don’t bother me anymore, I just shrug everything off.

Bad grade? Oh well.
Exams next week? Too bad.
Wasting time? I’ll always have more.

I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. I can’t read. I can’t watch tv. I can’t speak. I can’t interact.
I just lock myself in my room and pretend everything will be okay.
I just assume everything will end up how I need it to.

I’m tired of being tired.
I’m tired of hurting.
I’m tired of breathing.
I’m tired of everything.

It just makes me want to sleep. But I can’t.
I haven’t in forever.

It’s like, I’m alive…but I’m so dead inside, that it’s hardly called living anymore.

Feeling.

Do you know that feeling? where you're totally unsatisfied. It's like… you don't love your life, but you don't hate it. yeah?..  Well that's what I feel right now. There's something that is bugging me, but I don't know what it is. Does that make sense? Probably not. Maybe it's just me being a 'teenager'. Maybe I feel like there should be something better in life. Like I should be able to wake up every morning and look forward to the day. I hate feeling so blahh.i hope that feeling goes away. something new and exciting needs to happen in my life asap!

Life.

People are gonna stab you in the back.  Talk shit. Break your heart. Disappoint you. Rate you. Judge you. Forget you. But none of that shit should have to define you. You decide who you are. Not them. The ones that feed off your weakness. Play with your emotions and put you down. They don’t matter. All that matters is that you stay true to you. Fuck the rest.

Bad.

wanting to do something more than anything, more than anything you have ever wanted to do, in that moment. your skins itching and the universe is pulsing with a horrifying sense of terror so sharp its cutting you open.

Liars.

the lying is what makes me hate you the most.

you were lying to yourself and to me.

i hate liars.

Don't trust boys.

Trust.

"Trust is like scales, without the same amount of something from the opposite side you have well..nothing, sometimes unbalanced which creates problems and most often empty..take a look at all those scales you have….what do you see on the other side?"

-- Me (I dont care if it doesn’t make sense, i just wanted to write)

From now on.. im gonna learn to keep things to myself..

Mornings.

I wake up around 11 a.m. and everyone is still sleeping. So I am left laying in bed until someone wakes their lazy ass up. It sucks when I know they went to bed at the same time I did. boo